God is Good. God is Gracious. He is infinite in His love.
We go through seasons in life that have immense effect, good or bad, that bring us to our knees in realization that we truly have no control over our lives.
These seasons can bring tears. They can bring laughter. They can bring joy or pain (sometimes both). But they all carry one common denominator. Once we are on the other side, we are never the same as when we began.
Michelle and I have been led through a desert. We were led, unknowingly, through a season of confusion, concern, and lack of clarity. I am extremely blessed to call this girl my wife. And if I were headed back into the desert (all of us are one phone call away from being there), there is no one in the world that I trust and love more than her.
Pregnancy hasn't been easy on us. The desert we have been led through has been wrought with 3 miscarriages, doubt, pain, and at times, feelings of hopelessness. I have learned through this time that we can profess all of the different things that we believe, but until we have to put it into action, it's empty words. The first miscarriage that we had brought us to our knees, praying and thinking on our belief that God is good. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8).
By the third miscarriage, we were grasping at any pieces of hope we could find in Him and in the Scriptures. I am deeply grateful for the Lord revealing Himself through the Word, that in times of pain and anger, we can turn to them confidently in the knowledge that comes from Romans 8.
We are now pregnant at just over 14 weeks! We have never made it past 7. So far, everything looks picture perfect and he/she is due in the middle of December.
I can't tell you how overjoyed and grateful we are for 14 weeks! The first few weeks of this pregnancy were filled with fear and anxiety and the Lord has been gracious in allowing us to finally find excitement and peace in this pregnancy.
God willing, we believe that we are being led out of the season of despair, into a season of joy.
As we leave this time, I look back on the past 2 years of haze, and realize that I am walking out on the other side differently.
If you have ever been through seasons of suffering, you know that it changes you.
What God has done in this time:
1. God has made our marriage a solid oak. Michelle and I have shared such intense moments of reliance on one another, that our marriage has become a massive rock to build this family on!
2. God has taught us that we can't control events in our lives. Pregnancy is simply something only God himself can do. We can do everything we know how, but only if God is willing, can this happen.
3. God has taught me the importance of friends and family. Prayer and support are so crucial to us and we have cherished every encouraging prayer, letter, and word.
4. God has taught us to practice what we believe. We are extremely grateful for the Biblical discipleship and teaching we had received going into this season. It held our heads above water.
5. God has taught us to deeply love and appreciate this miracle coming to us in December.
Thanks to all of our friends and family. We love you.